Thankful for 30
At about 29 and half months old, I started feeling a sense of anxiety about turning 30. For me and where I'm at in life, 30 seemed like a big deal. Why the anxiety? While my natural inclination is to buy myself a plane ticket and jet off somewhere, I wasn't so sure about timing considering my work schedule and, honestly, I didn't want to spend this one alone. Rather than planning some big solo trip, I decided to try something new and plan a weekend for me and my closest friends. It was a staycation for me, an intro to Austin for others, and a fun time for all!
Some people approach their birthday as no big deal, others celebrate for a month, some dread them for fear of getting older, some people that have had more birthdays than others (cough, cough, my dad) will tell you "[Enter age you are turning here] is nothing, wait til you're my age." For me, birthdays have always been reason to celebrate. My mom was queen of surprise birthdays while I was growing up, you'd have thought that I would catch on after a while. Some were bigger celebrations than others but I never went without a birthday dinner, cards, and cake and this year was no different! What was different this year was that I was saying goodbye to a decade! My 20s are now in my past and, you can call me dramatic, but I think these bigger birthdays have a tendency to make us think and reflect a bit more on life.
I grew up the youngest of 4 cousins on my mom's side of my family. Brandi is the oldest, then Josh and Justin, and then me. Justin was 4 years older than me and Josh was 6 years older. I think of them often and especially around my birthday. I was 24 when Justin passed away in 2013 and 25 when Josh died in 2014. Both of their deaths were unexpected. Justin died when he was just 27. He was 4 years older than me and now I'm 3 years older than he lived to be. Josh was 30 when he died. Turning 30 has me thinking a lot about them, how I should still be the youngest but their time here was short and we don't have any explanation for why. I miss them everyday.
I think birthdays and those bigger ones that seem more like a life milestone are really special. But many of us have a fear of getting older. I don't know if it's perhaps our culture or maybe it's similar in cultures throughout the world, but many of us fear or dislike, or maybe a combination of the two, aging. I'm not immune to it. I have the 'I don't want to get older' thoughts. But, in resisting all of those thoughts, birthdays are a sign of life and how blessed we are to have made it to another trip around the sun! I want to live each day, the good ones and the bad ones, and strive to be truly thankful and present for each day, week, month, or year that I have.
So here's to 30! To practicing gratitude daily and to continued personal growth and being the best me that I can be. I may not be where I imagined I'd be but I've also been through challenges and lived experiences that I never could have imagined in the first place. I don't really aspire to climb a ladder or reach societal norms for the sake of doing so anyways. I don't need to fit a mold or be wherever society tells me I should be as a woman at the age of 30. I just want to be a good person and do what I can to make a difference in the lives of those around me. And while I may joke that I'm 22 or 23...I'm very, very thankful for my 30 years.
Pictures below of my fun filled birthday weekend with family and friends that are very near and dear to my heart.
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| My girls. From left to right: Lindsay, Alicia, Pascal (found her!), me, Zoe, Aley, Brittany, and Katie. This is college, grad school, my China year, and ATX all represented. 💖 |
I grew up the youngest of 4 cousins on my mom's side of my family. Brandi is the oldest, then Josh and Justin, and then me. Justin was 4 years older than me and Josh was 6 years older. I think of them often and especially around my birthday. I was 24 when Justin passed away in 2013 and 25 when Josh died in 2014. Both of their deaths were unexpected. Justin died when he was just 27. He was 4 years older than me and now I'm 3 years older than he lived to be. Josh was 30 when he died. Turning 30 has me thinking a lot about them, how I should still be the youngest but their time here was short and we don't have any explanation for why. I miss them everyday.
Me & Josh back in the day!
And me & Justin at my 5th birthday!
I think birthdays and those bigger ones that seem more like a life milestone are really special. But many of us have a fear of getting older. I don't know if it's perhaps our culture or maybe it's similar in cultures throughout the world, but many of us fear or dislike, or maybe a combination of the two, aging. I'm not immune to it. I have the 'I don't want to get older' thoughts. But, in resisting all of those thoughts, birthdays are a sign of life and how blessed we are to have made it to another trip around the sun! I want to live each day, the good ones and the bad ones, and strive to be truly thankful and present for each day, week, month, or year that I have.
So here's to 30! To practicing gratitude daily and to continued personal growth and being the best me that I can be. I may not be where I imagined I'd be but I've also been through challenges and lived experiences that I never could have imagined in the first place. I don't really aspire to climb a ladder or reach societal norms for the sake of doing so anyways. I don't need to fit a mold or be wherever society tells me I should be as a woman at the age of 30. I just want to be a good person and do what I can to make a difference in the lives of those around me. And while I may joke that I'm 22 or 23...I'm very, very thankful for my 30 years.
Pictures below of my fun filled birthday weekend with family and friends that are very near and dear to my heart.
Flowers from my mom & dad and she wanted me to make sure and take a picture!
& chocolate covered strawberries!
Thank yous, throwback photos, memories and more cards for my friends!
Kt & Linds - OSU & AXO besties
ATX friends - Jessica, Zoe, & Caroline
The night was young! After a 3 hour happy hour at TLC, we took our first group pic and had already lost Pascal... (she wasn't really lost, just buying shots)
The next day was PERFECT weather - we recovered for a few hours at The Shady Llama in Wimberley. That is a water in my hand.
To my friends that couldn't make it - still love you and wish you could have been here!
Aren't my friends cute?
Out for dinner - birthday brussel sprouts? yes please!
And out for dancing and dranks and the Dirty 6th experience!
Pictured: Kt & I drunk in the Murphy's bathroom in 2012. And Kt & I attempting to recreate the moment in a bathroom of a bar I don't remember the name of on 6th Street in Austin.
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
At The Blind Pig Pub.
Checking out the SXSW activity on Rainey Street!
Pascal got to stay an extra day! We revived ourselves at JuiceLand and went paddle boarding on town lake.
And "hiked" Mount Bonnell.
A couple weeks later I went home to Oklahoma to celebrate with my family!
My mom is the also queen of birthday cakes!
Fierce. Fabulous. Thirty!
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